DAY 25: Your biggest regret
I don’t like the idea of living with regret, let alone more than one. But unfortunately none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, even if they’re made in the height of our youth and when we think we entirely understand the world. At the time, we don’t even know that we’re making a mistake or that it will turn into a regret in the future when we look back at it. But sometimes we can’t help it, and we make those mistakes and have those regrets later in life and wish upon every star that we could go back in time and do it all over again. But at the same time, I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I believe that human beings are capable of moving past mistakes and not letting them define who they are in the present. Now I don’t know if that’s my subconscious’ sick way of deceiving me into blissful ignorance of the world, but it works.
But what if we can’t move past some of the things we’ve done in our lives? Surely we all have something, no matter how big or small it is. I made a lot of mistakes during high school, but nothing drastic that I regret. No. What I regret is being weak, being quiet and not being myself. I let other people walk all over me, use me, bend me to their will and the worst part is… I didn’t even notice it was happening. Or at least I didn’t want to notice that it was happening. I don’t think I really wanted to realise it either. Who wants to admit to herself that she’s a pawn in somebody else’s game? Not this girl. No, I was completely adamant to live in that blissful ignorance that I mentioned earlier. And it was so wrong. But why did I think it was so right? Maybe it has to do with age, maybe it has to do with growing up, but it definitely isn’t okay.
But it is okay to admit that you’ve made these mistakes. It’s the first step in over coming them. I don’t want to share any of my regrets or mistakes because I’ve overcome them now. I’ll tell you that it was hard, and that it was a long process, but time turns these things into something different, and by the end of that’s what we have to live with. As long as you learn from what you’ve done and done something different in the future because of that, then that’s the real lesson.